Wednesday, July 11, 2012

My Prison Break


I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14 NIV)
Oh, her orange toenail polish is so cute! Maybe if I painted my toenails that color, I’d…

Look at her hair today.  It’s long and beautiful and she knows how to style it perfectly.  If my hair was long and beautiful, I’d…

Her body is just the right size.  She looks so cute in that outfit!  I guess if my body was like that, I’d…

On a Sunday morning, in between the songs and scriptures, my mind wanders to the worshippers rather than the worshipped.  While I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, I daresay you will relate.

My struggle is deep, friends, and it’s time I laid bare my heart. 

I wear the chains of insecurity, and it’s all about appearance.

Examining my thoughts, I find that I’m spending too much time comparing and not enough time praising God for who He made me to be.  I teach young women that they are beautiful because they are His, yet I am unable to apply it to my own life!  Those who love me have always told me that I am beautiful, and while I know they mean well, I just can’t believe their words. 

I am living in a prison of lies.


I've fallen for the culture's hideous lie that I must look like the "perfect girls" in the magazines to be acceptable.  And while I've been slowly sipping the Koolaid (as I suspect many of you have been), I've forgotten to be thankful for things like hair that grows, a nose with an excellent sense of smell, and a body strong enough to do hard work.  I've been saying to my Creator, "Why did you make me THIS way?" (Romans 9:20)

And yes, I know that it’s what is on the inside that counts.  I know my righteousness comes from Christ.  I know I am the apple of His eye, His beloved, His redeemed daughter.  But, if I’m being completely honest, sometimes those things just aren’t enough for me. 

Sometimes I just want to be beautiful.

Patiently, He’s been speaking in the struggle, and this time I’ve been seeking and waiting rather than running and fixing.  And today I find this:

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16 NIV)

Do you see, beloved?  WHO you are has nothing to do with WHAT you look like.  I created you for a purpose, a calling, and that calling was decided before you even HAD a body. Let me heal your soul...

I'm choosing to change my thinking, and while I’m still sifting through it all, I do know this: Too much self-love, too much pride, too much “it’s all about me” – these are my chains.  They steal my freedom and my ability to live fully.

Sisters, today let's make a pact to be thankful for the way our Creator has made us.  We are being called out of darkness into marvelous light! (1 Peter 2:9)

~~
As C.S. Lewis said, “We read to know we are not alone.”  Do you struggle with believing the lies?  Have you overcome the insecurities?  Share your story in the comments.

WIPWednesday

Life: Unmasked



10 comments:

Nikki said...

I love you, Katie, for baring all for us. For His glory. I'm slowly learning this too... I mean, how dare I belittle His very own handiwork? His skilled hands crafted me...I'm striving, friend. I'm striving...

Michy loving our journey said...

visiting from wip wed. linky....it took me years, years, (ok into my 30s) to finally not feel like I had to wear makeup...and feel beautiful as God intended...bless you for opening up about thiis!
Michy
Faithfully Parenting Friday linky party host!!

Mary Beth said...

I struggle so much with comparing myself to other women. It's not women in the movies and magazines though, its other women in my life. I wonder why I'm not as fashionable as them, or why I can't get my hair to do that, or why my make-up never looks that natural and lovely. But I'm slowly learning and relearning that I am exactly who Got made me to be--and that girl dresses kinda plain and hates fixing her hair and putting on makeup, which is okay. {{hugs}}

Jacqui said...

I'm so glad you shared this, friend! It's a struggle that's true for most women. If it isn't appearances that we're comparing, it's skills, personalities, our parenting, our husbands, etc. You nailed it when you said,"Too much self-love, too much pride, too much “it’s all about me” – these are my chains. They steal my freedom and my ability to live fully." When we get caught up in discontent, when we focus on self, we are imprisoned! Thanks for your honesty and your courage. Love you!!

Katie @simply[his] said...

Thanks for your words, dear one. I hope the words resonate and bring healing to many! Love you!

Katie @simply[his] said...

Oh, I'm there too, MB! I do compare myself with everyone around me, but I wish for the ideal. God is teaching me so much!!! and I'm finally listening! <3

Katie @simply[his] said...

So glad you stopped by today! Oh, to get to the point where I don't "need" to wear makeup... now THAT will be a breakthrough!

Katie @simply[his] said...

This one is such a hard one to learn, and it's a hard one to admit. But God has clearly said that He wants my words to be seen, so I dug deep for courage and let them flow. All the glory to Him!!! I love you friend!

Duane Scott said...

This is the real honesty that makes a blogger a great blogger.

Although you addressed the sisters, I could see myself in there too, just whittling away at my perception of who I should be instead of praising the Father for who I am.

Katie @simply[his] said...

Duane, thank you so much for your encouraging words! I almost didn't post this because of the honesty...


You're right; it's all about our skewed perception. Praying that He speaks strong and heals our hearts!


(I tried to reply to this earlier, so hopefully there won't be two comments.) :)

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