He calls me from darkness, from the chains of sin, from the life of nothingness. He sees my sin, my filth, my life of prostitution; yet He seeks me out and desires my love. (Hosea 4:10-11)
Yes, I am utterly unworthy, undeserving of love, one who should never expect forgiveness and redemption.
Still, He gently calls my name.
Madly, I fight tooth and nail to get away. I’m perfectly content to continue selling myself, body and soul, to the enemy. Day after day, I answer the knock of the ones who’ve paid to steal my dignity and joy, giving myself away only to find emptiness. But I see no way out. No one will ever think I’m worthy of rescue, so I stop looking out the window at the passersby and hoping for someone to see beyond the obvious- that I am full of disgrace.
One day, He come to me at my lowest, when I am standing on the doorstep of death, and He carries me away. He speaks tenderly to me in the desert and I respond, “My Husband.” (Hosea 2:14-16)
But the day always comes when I pack my bags and head back to the brothel, stubbornly turning from love, only to sell myself for a tiny handful of gold that never satisfies; and as He watches me flee, His heart shatters. I’m running from the One who gave His everything, His very life, to love me. And I run hard, as fast as I can, because my rebellious heart is unaware of the depth of rescue. (Hosea 2:7)
And so He comes again.
He runs to find me, and although He weeps at finding me in that darkened room, desperately wallowing in my sin, He puts His loving arms around me and takes me back.
This Redeemer does not focus on my filth; He only sees my need for a Savior. He sees a lost and wandering child, afraid and confused.
He is my only hope.
No matter how many times I run, He comes to find me. He comes to rescue. He comes to redeem.
After all, He’s already paid the price; I belong to Him. I am His bride, set apart for Him from the beginning of time.
And when I finally understand the allure of His love, the perfect joy He gives, and I strip myself of everything that keeps me from Him, baring all, I find the Lover of my soul waiting to welcome me home. (Hosea 6:1) He lovingly lifts my head, wipes the tears of guilt and anguish from my eyes, and says, “Oh, Beloved, all is forgiven. Come away with Me.”
My words here were inspired by Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, a story based on Hosea. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest it! It's life-changing.