I wallow in frustration because things aren't going as planned.
As I have planned...
Because, you see, I am in charge and I want this to be perfect.
"For I know the plans I have for you..." (Jeremiah 29:11)
But Lord, I've put in hours of work, and I need this to work and I want and I need and I...and...
"Let me quiet you with my love..." (Zephaniah 3:17)
And I am 3 with my dress too short and my hair all a mess.
Stomping and screaming that I want my own way.
This always happens! Things never go smoothly! I don't understand.
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond all cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)
I can't deal with this anymore, Lord.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
And here I am, trying to cast my own nets AGAIN, forgetting to trust and release.
With clenched fists, I am firm.
I hold tight.
But nothing changes.
"Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this." (2 Timothy 2:7)
The hands begin to slowly unclench.
These plans of mine that I hold so dear are just an illusion.
It's all in His control anyway.
My fists fully open.
And though it hurts my pride, I choose to submit.
Because He demands it.
"In his heart a man plots his course, but the Lord determines his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)