Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Curse of Comparison

I watch and listen to them when they don't know it.
They're doing it again, this comparing of self to others.
This looking at each other with hesitant eyes and nervous glances.
I hear it in the bathrooms and the hallways during the in-between times.

"Her speech was so good; I could never do that well!"

You'll never measure up.  Why even try?

"She's so beautiful; I wish I looked like that."

You're ugly.  Who would like you?

"She's like the perfect girl, you know?"

And you're not.

It's different, I've convinced myself, this position of outside-looking-in.
My window is different but I can still see the mirror.
The mirror that reflects the should-bes and the not-good-enoughs.
A distorted view in a cracked glass.
It's been cracked by the Deceiver who hammers the lies.

image credit

I watch them crumble under the weight of the lies, and my heart breaks for these sweet girls.
For I know this weight well.
I want to grab them all by their tired and worn shoulders and speak truth!

"Stop comparing yourself!!!  You are a beautiful daughter of the Most High, and He loves you more than you can possibly imagine!"

But then I realize I'd have to grab my own shoulders too.
And I'd shake hard.

"But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!" (2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT)

Shunning the voice of the liar and letting His sweet voice fill the vast expanse in my heart.

You are mine.  Compare yourself only to me.

"You must be holy because I am holy." (I Peter 1:16 NLT)

Not "be a good speaker because she is."
Not "be beautiful because she is."
But "be holy because He is holy."

This curse of comparison always kills.

"So set yourselves apart to be holy, for I am the LORD your God." (Leviticus 20:7 NLT)


Sarah@ Speaking of Truth said...

You did it again, met me right where I'm at and I, too, battle wtih comparison! And that ridiculous and impossible standard that I'll never measure up to! I loved all of the Scriptureyou used in this post today. Life isn't about all of that superficial stuff, stuff we use to puff us up and make us better in the world's eyes. It's about focusing on God and becoming like HIM. Love you, friend!

Alex said...

Ah! This resonated so deeply with me, it's what I struggle with, though I'm shamed to admit it. Thank you for your beautifully written words.

Tracy said...

Hi Katie - wow, great post!  I am right there in your writing.  Something to really dig into and make part of my make up.  I am a daughter of the most High God
God bless and thank you for linking up :)

tanya @ truthinweakness said...

my husband (rightly & gently) called me out on it recently when i shlepped off a compliment of his -- b/c i was subconsciously comparing myself w/ some others & therefore didn't think i deserved it.

thank you for this reminder of truth. and btw, thx for making sure i got the cracked glass memo, too! lol ;)

Sarah Koci Scheilz said...

Katie, I am there as well. It's so difficult to avoid comparing ourselves, yes? Thanks for sharing the verses to combat this as well. They're verses I'll look to when I struggle with the not-enough.

Nikki said...

Clearly God is wanting me to shake my own shoulders after reading your post and Lara's post (shared on my FB page).
striving with you, friend!
Life is not a competition. Let's simply be His....

Jamie H said...

Do you visit To Overflowing by Lara?  She has a similar post today; well a post about the same subject.  Thought you might like to go over and read it.  Not for comparison's sake, but because you have the same message.  Clearly, and I have been thinking about this much of the day, I make comparisons of myself with others ALL the time, and I needed to see both your post as well as hers.

Tara_pohlkottepress said...

oh yes. I know this well. Shake.Fight hard....

Laura@Pruning Princesses said...

I am so glad you know Jesus and know to say no to the comparison game. Those girls though.....shake them anyway. 

Katie @simply[his] said...

Never visited her before, but I will now!  Thanks!

Joye said...

Love this:  "You are mine.  Compare yourself only to me".  He's calling us back to that place of single heartedness, when all is for Him and He's everything to us-- our looking glass, our standard to measure by, our only source of affirmation.

I've loved my visit here today!  And I love your heart for Jesus!

Hindi SMS said...

i like ur post ..thanks


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