Thursday, January 12, 2012

Such Fragile Skin

Today was one of those days when I probably should have ignored my alarm clock and stayed in bed.  Yeah, one of those... You know the kind I'm talking about.

An unsettled spirit pervaded me, and I was fighting hard to keep it inside.  I mean, hard.

Every person I encountered frustrated me, and it wasn't because of anything they did; it was because I'd let darkness take hold.

Selfish pride.

I begged the Lord to give me whatever I needed to make it through the day without going to prison for murder, and I was starting to wonder if I should just give up and grab an orange jumpsuit.


And then, it happened.
All in one thirty second span, I was metaphorically smacked in the face and knocked on the ground.
I looked back at her, fighting tooth and nail to suppress the tears, and responded with a smile a kind word.
When she walked away, I swallowed my stunned tears.

Today, Lord?  You know I can't handle one more thing today!

So I huffed and puffed at the injustice of the whole situation, knowing full well that she didn't mean it in the way it came out.  But I was completely embarrassed.

Lord, give me strength to love...intentionally.

Today was a test of this thing I'm working on called love.  Do I really mean what I say?  Am I willing to love without finding fault and forgive without resentment?  Can I look past the heat of the moment and seek peace?

I will rise above this and forgive.

And God, in His grace, toughened my fragile skin today.
He knows I need it.
Don't we all?

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. [psalm 27:14]
Is your skin being toughened?  Your love being tested?  Please share!


Jessica said...

Yes I understand the feeling. I am glad you go out of bed despite it all!

Annie said...

Sorry it was a rough day, Katie. I had several of those this week too - where I was wearing frustration around, and needed to be woken up from it. Praying lots of soul rest for you this weekend.


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